Coping with not having children

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Louise88
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Dec 25, 2015 12:17 pm

Re: Coping with not having children

Post by Louise88 »

Hi.

I know it's Christmas Day but I have just come across this thread online. My kidney check up was only two days ago. My gfr is 36 and creatinine is 150 but my consultant is advising not to try for a baby until after a transplant yet my gfr doesnt seem to decrease, so it could be years until my transplant. I am considering trying and seeing what happens. I saw the post which seems interesting from Mandy about a clinic for people with renal failure for advice on trying for a baby. Would I need to be referred by my consultant?
Thankyou
Merry christmas
patricia99
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue May 10, 2016 12:02 pm

Re: Coping with not having children

Post by patricia99 »

Hello girls! I'm new here, actually I was reading this forum for a couple of months and finally decided to sign up. I've never talk with people, who have same problems. I don't know why, but I got used to keep everything inside and keep fighting with the desease by my own. I wish I found this forum 10 years ago... Maybe it would be easier for me to survive all problems I faced. I was diagnosed with chronic glomerulonephritis 20 years ago, now I’m 39. I've got pregnant from my first husband in 2007. I decided not to listen to doctors, who said, it's dangerous for me to carry a baby and it's too risky... Unfortunately my pregnancy ended with severe preeclampsia, emergency caesarean and death of my daughter on the second week of resuscitation. Then my husband left me. I was alone with my problems, thoughts and disease. I tried so hard not to do smth with myself... I can't hold back my tears when I remember that horrible period of my life. Luckily I've met my second husband, who changed my life and gave me hope and belief. We got married and I moved to his country. I see many girls here thinks about surrogacy. It's not a bad idea I should say. It's really one of the best options for us. I didn't want to loose again. Furthermore, I didn't want my baby to live without mother. Also my doctor told us, that there is a very high possibility, that baby may have severe problems with health. It's hard to look how your baby suffer and know that it's your fault. So we decided that surrogacy is for us. We live in USA and prices here are really huge. My treatment pull lots of money, that's why we decided to look for clinic in Europe. I can't say it was easy to find good one. Reviews in the Internet are very controversial and there are so many scammers, who have no sympathy at all. India wasn't a bad variant, but we’ve read that their surrogate mothers don’t have needed medical check and sometimes their clinics take unhealthy surrogates into their programs. We wanted to go to Russia, but their surrogate mother have all rights for babies they carry. It's weird that some woman can take your baby and raise it, while you can do nothing, because her actions is legal. So we chose Ukrainian clinic. Though we had some doubts, we went there to check the clinic by ourselves. We were afraid there will be problems because of language barrier, but they provided us with translator. They found sm for us pretty fast and controled all process. Our daughter was born in January 2015. I've never regret about my decision, because now I have happy family, I can spend time with my daughter, I can play with her and bring her up. I want to say, don't be afraid to look for solutions and consider other options.
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