DON'T WORRY, DEAR. I'M BACK. IT WAS ONLY A COMPUTER BLIP

oldborris · Post by **oldborris** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 3:24 pm

Phew! that was me breathlessly brushing off beaded bands of blood
from my blood-bejewelled brow having survived - but only just - six
weeks of so of computer deprivation, during which I had nothing to do
but stare out of a curtainless window, bite my nails, and relect grimly on the bitter fate that had befallen me in my enforced exile in the bleak Siberian winter of another flat a full 50 yards from my own.while reflecting on the star-cursed fate that, not content with
absenting me from the delights of my home and dumping me in the barren waste of a strange apartment, devoid of anything
reminiscent of a home, had now deprived me of that source of comfort
and joy on which I might have relied for support during my forty days
in the wilderness.

"I look unto my computer", as the Psalmist nearly
said, "from whence cometh my help" I felt kinship with Job and
wondered had God walked in my garden with Satan and conspired with
him on my downfall as he had his.

But when my computer was eventually
restored to me, that was not the end of my misery: it was just the
start of yet another phase of it.

Was ever a man so abused as I was?
Did ever a man have so much cause for aggrievement?

For now, having paid ninety nine pounds and seventy one pence for its repair, I was told that, although it might jerk along in a desultory fashion
for a while, it had reached the virtual end of its use-by date and
that I should be looking at buying a new computer. Well, I did all
the normal, natural and requisite things that one does on being the
recipient of such ill-fortune such as learning that one's kidneys
have failed [though, of course, I found that being computer-deficient
is much worse] like tearing my hair out, wearing sackcloth and ashes,
weeping and wailing {I do a very good - and copyrighted - wail] and
generally feeling very hard-done by. But one has to face facts and
the future so I girded up my loins [my loins are much admired - and
also copyrighted -and are open to view on the second Sunday of each
month betweeen 3 and 5 p.m. Cream teas available] and got myself
another computer. And so here I am once again and glad to be back.
I missed you all.

Regaining contact on the night before Christmas it seems an appropriate time to pass on to all members of this board the seasonal greeting I spotted on the lavatory wall of my favourite boozer: A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR READERS.

oldborris · Post by **oldborris** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 3:37 pm

Oh! I nearly forgot. How could I? To thank all those who expressed concern over my absence and most especially to Rik who went to so much trouble to contact my unit [which, incidentally, didn't tell me of his visit until a few days ago!]. It was very noble and kind of you. Much appreciated.

Rachel in NY · Post by **Rachel in NY** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 3:45 pm

Oldboris, so so glad to hear from you, glad to see you are back. That must have been awful.. being computerless. Its like.... being in a foreign prison... like being forced to eat mud and drink tar, like - oooh - its worse then that

. But you've survived - bc you are a survivor!

Anyway - Very glad to have you back on the board again. Take care!

Anne in Va · Post by **Anne in Va** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 8:13 pm

Welcome back! You were sorely missed.

Anne

amanda in CA · Post by **amanda in CA** » Fri Dec 24, 2004 9:39 pm

Hi, Old Borris, it's so good to see you back again, I really missed your cynical humour; just keep it coming. love amanda

Andy · Post by **Andy** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 9:49 am

Hi Old Borris

GREAT to have you back again. what a Christmas present to see a post from yourself.

Have a great Christmas
Take care
Love
andy
x x x

Carolyn in CA · Post by **Carolyn in CA** » Sat Dec 25, 2004 3:22 pm

Welcome back! Sorry about all of the misery that has befallen you! Hope you still have a joyous Chritmas!

Richard and Carolyn in CA

Rik · Post by **Rik** » Sun Dec 26, 2004 12:22 am

OLD BORRIS!!!!!!!
so glad your back .... pleased that it was only a computer bug and not anything more serious healthwise ....
although forgive me if I sound a little disapointed ... I had just come to the desicion that you had shoved off this mortal land ... and I had already planned on a useful recycling of my Christmas wreath!!!!

once again glad your back ... I was only too pleased to pop into your unit and hear that you were fine

amanda in CA · Post by **amanda in CA** » Sun Dec 26, 2004 3:06 am

Rik, you are a very sad man!

George · Post by **George** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 9:09 am

Welcome back 'old bo' you have resserected like the phenix...(should you not wait till easter to do that?) maybe we should now call you 'Old phenix bo'
Great to hear from you mate.
Merry christmas and a happy new year.

Nikki · Post by **Nikki** » Tue Dec 28, 2004 3:36 pm

Welcome back old Borris!

Nikki. x

oldborris · Post by **oldborris** » Wed Dec 29, 2004 3:23 pm

What an embarrassment of welcomes! At this rate I think I might think of shoving off this mortal coil [I've long since abandoned the moral one] just to see what gets written then. But, on the other hand, I might forget to bring my specs with me and not be able to read anything so think perhaps that I might hang on for a wee bit longer. Don't recycle that wreath yet, Rik, I'll let you know when I need it.

JMan · Post by **JMan** » Fri Dec 31, 2004 12:35 pm

Indeedy..

Welcome back Old B... though there's less of the old about yourself IMO !

J

Kidney Patient Guide

DON'T WORRY, DEAR. I'M BACK. IT WAS ONLY A COMPUTER BLIP

DON'T WORRY, DEAR. I'M BACK. IT WAS ONLY A COMPUTER BLIP

Old Borris and your galant return

Tut, Tut

Hooray!