Guilt

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Guilt

Postby SKM23435 » Sun Feb 21, 2016 7:45 am

Just wondered if anyone else felt the same.

I'm 55 year old. Last year I was fortunate to receive a kidney transplant that changed my life. It restored my health and energy.

I work in a government funded community project. I feel the job is worthwhile and offers a very positive useful service to the local community. The problem is that like any government funded scheme it is underfunded. Work load has soared and has now reached for me unsustainable levels. If I quit it is unlightly that I will be replaced and the project will fold.
My problem is that with the transplant I have been given a gift which allows me to do the job. I could just work harder and longer hours. Loosing the project will have an adverse effect on the local community.

My guilt is based on the fact that I have been given a gift that would allow me to carry on, I just don't want to at these work levels. Am I wrong?

I don't really expect a reply to this. 10 years ago I wouldn't have felt this way. I suppose it's the way such a gift of life from the transplant has altered my outlook on life and service to others.
Started APD July 2014
On transplant and paired exchange lists.
Transplant 9/5/15
SKM23435
 
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Re: Guilt

Postby sporti » Sun Feb 21, 2016 10:30 am

Hi

Not sure this is of any help. The way I look at having a transplant is it comes first in everything and so does my health. I'm quite selfish about it I think. For instance pre transplant, although having failing kidneys, I never took much notice of the general health of people around me. Now post transplant ve been known to politely! tell people no they can't come to my house they have a cold-no you can't come in your coughing-please don't sit next to me on train as I'm immunosupressed and your clearly ill - no I can't come to your house your kids sick -and no I won't sit in the Drs waiting room full of sick people can you please put me somewhere else-and so on and so forth! My view on it if your Workload is becoming too heavy and compromises your health then quit. The Community will have to do their best without you. Don't feel guilty someone gave you life. Hope you don't find this too blunt but it is what it is xx
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Re: Guilt

Postby AmandaClare » Sun Feb 21, 2016 2:01 pm

I'm sorry you're in this position. It's a great shame when people with real commitment to helping others are driven out by workload and stress - but it's happening all around us.

Remember your kidney was a gift, for you. There's no need to pay anyone back. Your health and wellbeing really has to be the priority.

If you need to quit this job I'm sure, being the kind of person you are, you will find other ways to do good, whether that's paid or voluntary or just looking out for your neighbours.

Best of luck with coming to a decision.
Alports Syndrome
Dialysis 1986, aged 14
Transplant 1988, still going strong!
Baby boy 2010
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Re: Guilt

Postby rheaybou » Tue Feb 23, 2016 10:51 am

I am with Amanda on this, your kidney was donated as a gift.

Dont feel pressure to go out and give more than you are able to, you have a commitment to your own health and family first.
Now 35 with Alports and I had my first kidney-versary 18th feb 2013....I hope to have many more.

My living donor and his family are doing all well.

==
34 year old with Alports.

Living donor transplant take two 18/02/2013.....
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Re: Guilt

Postby chrisb » Tue Feb 23, 2016 5:10 pm

I agree with Amanda. They won't worry about you when you and your new kidney are in a grave. Your health MUST come first.

Best of luck but you don't need my good wishes because you are already lucky enough to have the gift of a new kidney when many others, including me, wait in hope. So don't waste it.
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Re: Guilt

Postby Chris Wright » Tue Feb 23, 2016 10:29 pm

As a 57 year old with a TX i recognise the lack of energy.

You are getting older (sorry) and the cliche is that renal failure adds 30 years to your age.

Ok, for the likes of you and me it's less, but still, we both feel older than our actual age.

The fact that you feel guilt about the situation says masses about you, all good.

Exhausting yourself will eventually be a dead end.

Stay healthy, live longer and give what you can. That's probably the best outcome for all.

If you do that, then when you are much older looking back on your life. I suspect you will feel contentment that you did what you could.

Best of luck, whatever you decide.

Chris
Transplanted Sept 1981

Still enjoying life like a 21 year old, or younger!
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